What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

I’m a man. Why do I always fantasize about men’s cock? I don’t want a relationship with the man, I just want to suck his cock.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

When will dating stop being so hard for Gen Z?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What do you like about McDonald's?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What! how could you do that?

Do you know what she said mum?

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What do you mean son?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

True - how I loved my mum!

If sea levels were rising, wouldn't the acreage of coastal salt marshes increase? Are they?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!